Note To Self: Tightening Up = Tune In

On somatic experiences, body wisdom, and learning to listen deeper.

Aug 26, 2025

First, a quick note—thanks for your patience last week. Life threw its usual curveballs (Atlanta style), and I couldn’t get this post out in time. But reflecting on the chaos reminded me why today’s note matters so much.

We’re still in the connect phase of the Forgiveness Files. And what I’m realizing is: connection isn’t only about other people. It’s about listening to your body, especially when it starts sending signals louder than your mind.

When My Body Spoke Louder Than Me Again

Since last year, I’ve experienced ongoing harassment from my ex’s brother—episodes that escalated to police calls, sleepless nights, and times when silence was the only safety strategy I had.

Back in Atlanta, on day two, he resumed his behavior: circling near the bedroom, muttering through walls, throwing his words like shadows I couldn’t avoid. My ex ignored my calls, deflected when he finally answered, and later acted like he was protecting me—but deep down, I felt it wasn’t about me.

Then came the moment I couldn’t ignore: a conversation with my ex. His words cut deeper than the harassment itself. Neck tightening, chest constricting, body curling inward—the familiar somatic alarm I’d brushed off so many times before showed up like a spotlight.

For once, I didn’t escape it. I let the pain be there. I cried. I rocked myself. I tried to loosen the knot in my throat with my own arms, my own presence. And in that uncomfortable, shaky moment, I understood something I’d only skimmed in articles and podcasts: trauma lives in the body.

Why It Matters

Those somatic cues aren’t weakness. They’re guidance. They’re your nervous system saying, “Pay attention. There’s something here that needs care.”

Research confirms what our bodies have always known:

Tightness, trembling, or sudden waves of calm are your nervous system speaking.
Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away; suppressed stress shows up as tension, anxiety, or aches.
Simply noticing is a form of regulation. You don’t need to “fix” it immediately. Just honor it.

✨ Try This (Download Included)

I created a Somatic Listening Sheet you can download and use whenever you catch yourself ignoring your body. It’s simple:

Write down the trigger (text, call, situation).
Note where you feel it in your body.
Rate the intensity (1–10).
Ask: does this feel like safety or survival?
Choose one gentle action (breath, step back, grounding touch).

Listening is love too—the kind that starts inside before it spills out.

Where I’m At Now

I’m learning to stay present with these signals. The tightness is no longer a warning of danger—it’s a compass pointing me toward healing, awareness, and connection with my own truth.

Note to Self (and to You):
When your body tightens, pause. Don’t fight, shame, or numb it. Lean in. Listen. There’s insight waiting in that discomfort.

A Peek at the Next Phase: Cleanse

Connection lays the foundation, but sometimes we need to cleanse the old energy, the stuck pain, the residue of past hurt. Think of this as a gentle rinse for your body, mind, and spirit—a step closer to forgiveness in motion.

Your Turn

What’s one way your body has “tightened up” to get your attention? Did you listen—or push it away? Share in the comments—your experience might be the bridge someone else needs to connect with their own body wisdom.