There’s a heartbreaking moment when being nice no longer works—and that moment changed my business forever.
It doesn’t come from lovers.
It comes from friends and collaborators—the ones who smile in your face while quietly bleeding you dry.
Last year, I worked myself to the bone for two people. One of them? Someone I once called a close friend. I gave my time, my energy, my strategy. I designed their graphics. Enhanced their ideas. Fueled their projects like they were my own.
I showed up without a contract, without a deposit, without hesitation—because I believed in them. And more than that, I believed they’d honor me the way I was honoring them.
They didn’t.
Instead, they said they were “worried about me and didn’t want my partner to benefit off of me.” Every time we spoke about compensation.
As if my financial stress was a reason to delay payment—not prioritize it.They used my work anyway. Posted it. Bragged about it. Got credit for it.
But they didn’t pay me.
They didn’t call.
They ghosted.
And here’s the gut punch: because I was waiting on their payments, I didn’t have enough to pay for my storage unit and the owners were tired of waiting.
I lost everything.
Let that sink in.
While they reaped the benefits of my creativity, I was mourning the last of my belongings. I now own one suitcase of clothes. I grieved that loss in silence. Kept smiling. Kept showing up for others. Still hoping they’d do the right thing.
They didn’t.
So now, I’m preparing to take legal action—not out of spite, but out of self-respect.
Because here’s what I’ve finally learned:
Nice vs. Kind: The Crucial Difference
Being nice is not a business model. And it’s definitely not the same as being kind.
Nice is smiling through resentment. Saying yes when you mean no. Shrinking your needs to keep others comfortable.
Kindness, though? It includes truth. It demands boundaries. It isn’t afraid of being misunderstood.
The version of me who worked for free thought flexibility made me look professional.
It didn’t.
It made me exploitable.
And the reality is:
People rarely value what they get for free.
They value what they invest in.
The New Business Model
I’ve changed.
I don’t start work without a deposit. Ever.
I name my rates upfront—with no apologies.
I stopped confusing support with self-sacrifice.
And if you ghost me after taking from me?
I’ll grieve you, but I won’t chase you.
This isn’t bitterness.
This is a boundary.
This is what it looks like to protect a version of me I never want to lose again.
To anyone reading this who knows this kind of betrayal:
If you’ve ever poured into people only to be left drained and invisible—
I see you.
If you’ve ever stayed “understanding” while someone calculated your silence—
I see you.
You are not naive. You are not weak.
You are someone who cares deeply in a world that often weaponizes that care.
But you get to change.
You get to move differently.
Not with rage, but with reverence—for yourself.
Note to Self: Nice Gets You Nowhere.
But boundaries?
They’ll take you everywhere.
Has being 'nice' ever cost you? Comment below or DM me—let’s support each other in learning real kindness.